As one of the “morons who use pictures instead of words” I should take some offense from the latest Honest Trailer release. Instead, the most offensive thing on display is The Emoji Movie itself. Already derided by critics and audiences alike, it’s no surprise Screen Junkies have set their sights on the animated adventure, which for them is like shooting fish in a barrel (with a water pistol, of course.)
If also like me, you have no intention of ever seeing this film, you’ll feel vindicated. All the suspicions as to why it’s terrible are laid bare. These include all the painfully weak jokes that have all the humour of your smartphone’s virtual assistant. Chances are though you’ll get better banter from Siri than what’s vapidly served-up in The Emoji Movie.
Even more depressing than the naked corporate showboating, is when the Honest Trailer reminds you Sir Patrick Stewart’s accountant must have been grinning like a smiling pile of poop when the job offer came in. Unlike some, I don’t have an issue with TJ Miller, but the photo of him at the premiere in an emoji tuxedo cannot be unseen or easily forgiven.
I didn’t know before that James Corden co-stars, and now I do, that’s a reason in-and-of-itself never to let the film fully enter my brain.
For any parents out there, who weren’t dragged by their kids to the cinema to see it, but are considering this movie as a holiday treat, the Honest Trailer is genuinely attempting to help you avoid making that mistake. Value your critical faculties, and realise your children may not have developed their own yet.
The video makes a complimentary reference to The Lego Movie, but do not be mistaken – you realise not only have they cynically tired to cash-in on that film’s unexpected success and commercial tie-ins, but they’ve also adopted the ‘alternative’ style for their female love interest. As if joylessly forcing product placement in front of our children’s eyes isn’t bad enough, the film is also happy to perpetuate the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope in impressionable minds.
Conflicting studies suggest smartphones and tablet devices are both great and not great for young people. We’re already cultivating a society where kids are unable to cope without devices and permanently risk losing generations to the lure of glowing screens. Hopefully, a brilliantly funny assessment of an awfully un-funny film about what happens inside a smartphone can serve as a wake-up call. Sadly, as The Emoji Movie managed $216 million worldwide against a budget of $50 million, a sequel could very easily be on the cards, sad face.