Now it might come as a shock to you all that I don’t like The Twilight Ordeal (it’s not a saga, its an ordeal) I’m not exactly the target audience anyway, so I’m sure the makers of the films won’t mind.
I believe that Vampires should be Vampires, so drinking blood, fangs, sex, violence and some form of negative reaction to sunlight is required. Not all of these elements have to be present, but to ignore them all is unforgivable.
I’m all for playing with the myths, Bram Stoker’s Dracula could walk in the sun only his powers were weaker. The mighty Being Human’s Vampires can walk in the day time and Mitchell is even abstaining from human blood, or at least trying to. Speaking as a well versed fan of Vampire books, TV and movies I can’t recall any legend of the mopey, sparkly Vampires with no fangs. I’m sure Edward wouldn’t last 3 seconds against True Blood’s Bill or Eric, hell I’d put money on Sookie besting Edward in a fight to the death.
I could go on endlessly about the issues I have with this film series, but I doubt I could say much that hasn’t been said before. I’m sure I’ll have something to say when Breaking Dawn Part 1 opens in cinemas in a couple of months.
Fortunately there are many other like minded people all over the world who feel the same way. It was a relief to know I wasn’t out of touch with popular cinema and the world hasn’t gone mad. So here are some of my favourite Twilight spoofs. This might become a monthly feature.
Thanks to The Key of Awesome for this video, you can see all their stuff on Barely Political youtube channel and follow them on twitter @barelypolitical & @barelydigital